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The Blocked Oil Cooler Mystery
(finally! of 4)
Well, thanks to Brad Ripley of NLA and the Maestro's Triple Beam Balance Bathroom Scale, we have a Table of Oil Cooler Weights:
- The 356A BEHR Cooler made of light allow weighs barely 2 pounds.
- The Stock Late Model 8mm stud Cooler as well as the late 912 Oil Cooler both weigh some 1,450 grams, or about three pounds
- The "funky" Oil Cooler sold for a while in the early '90's by the Dealers weighed in at 962 grams or about 2 Pounds.
- The new all Aluminum Oil Cooler from NLA weighs some 789 Grams, or about a pound and a half.
Care to guess what THIS Oil Cooler weighed?
The oil cooler clogged with Solder tipped the scales as a Heavyweight--weighing in at 2149 grams or almost Five Pounds!
Almost two pounds of Solid Solder plugging up the Werks, if you know what I mean.
Guess they musta been hanging the cooler by its studs down into a Solder Bath to solder the blades to the "top" plenum when something went wrong, went wrong, went wrong... and the solder sucked itself inside, filled up the lower plenum, and guaranteed that no oil shall pass therethrough, henceforth. Forevermore. Till Time Infinity.
So, I hear you cry, just where was the "Quality
Control" at the "LR" Oil Cooler Factory that day
in October, 1986? Did they just get back from a Strike? Or were
about to go on one? Did Herr Numnutz do this on
purpose? Or was it entirely accidental?
Sure, they probably pressure-tested the Coolers to see if
they leaked. Maybe. And this one sure wouldn't leak!
But did they flow test them?
"Flow Test"--like, you know--FLOW something through it--like cleaning fluid, say, to be sure you
A. got most all the crud/debris out and
B. Had Fluid FLOWING through the Cooler!
For sure, you'd think they'd flow test it!
Guess you'd be WRONG!!! For sure.
Q.E.D.
So, add yet another Rule, nay, a Truism to 356/912 Life in
the next Millennium, since Murphy will Rule there like he does
here:
Even if it be new it could still be plugged! An no one, not even the Factory, would know for sure!
But you sure would, if it applied to you Personally. On your Engine! Which it did to the Maestro's Customer!
And beware those Oil Coolers that Weigh-a like-a PIG! Or a 5-pound sack of Sugar. Not only are Overweight Oil Coolers a big, mean Vibration Machine to your engine, they can be a Constipated Turkey too!
So too, Gentle 356'ers, note the other lesson here- ifin you're in good with the Porsche gods, you don't even need an Oil Cooler on your 356!!!
Most of the time.
You can even drive Half the Length of California, in one day,
at Freeway Speeds with no oil cooler--and make
it without Overheating.*
By actual Demonstration.
(*= On a cool day in February.)
But you still gotta stop several times to let the engine cool down when going up the Steepest Grade in the Continental USA.
That's why you need that oil cooler- for The Extreme Conditions--like Cruising down the Autobahn (or I-5) at 100+ mph on an 100+F degree day.
Ifin you Produce more Horsepower- such as occurs when going
up the USA's Steepest Grade- you gotta produce more "Waste
Heat" too. Heat that must be
rejected to the Environment somewhere, somehow. (Look, I don't
make The Rules--that's just the way Thermodynamics works. I know
it's not Fair, but
Thermo doesn't care. You just gotta live with it.)
That somewhere where a lot of Waste Heat is Rejected is, naturally, the oil Cooler. That's when you need it- when the Going gets Tough.
And if you don't have that Cooler when you need it, you either
ignore the Temperature Gauge when it starts to go into the Red Zone,
and end up stopped permanently by the side of the
road. Or you stop Temporarily by
the side of the road to let the engine cool down. Which would
you choose?
High Speed. Hot day. Blocked Oil Cooler. Go-um up steep hill. Engine Overheat Heap Bad. Go BOOM!
So, I ask you--how did this guy go some 20,000 miles with no oil cooler?
By the Grace of the Porsche gods--that's how--the Owner was
Blessed. He also took care of his car too- and drove
it. (Stopped it too, when necessary--before it
got too hot. The Porsche gods like that a lot. It shows
Concern, Prudence, and Caring.)
Now, how far do you think you'd get with a Blocked Oil Cooler?
A Hundred Thousand miles? (Right--Good Luck, dreamer!) Ten Thousand Miles? Hey, he did! A Thousand miles? A hundred miles? Ten miles?
The Maestro knows how far he'd get - just about outa the driveway!
No--even worse--stuck in Death Valley with an overheated, dead, blown engine, and nor any drop of radiator water to drink!
That would be the Maestro's luck!
Them the gods love, they Chastise.
Keep the 356 Faith
Maestro
P.S. As a good PhD Thesis warmup, describe the effects on
Oil Flow & Pressure in a 356/912 Porsche engine when the
Oil Cooler passageway is, say,
completely plugged. Predict Hot Idle and Hot 3000 rpm Oil Pressure
Values, and expected Life.
Keep the 356 Faith